Torn

My heart and my head are torn... I am in love with someone that I know in my head I should'nt be, but in my heart it just feels soo right. This is a real struggle for me. I am trying so hard to pull away and move on but my love and intense desire for this person proves to be too overwhelming. Sometimes I feel guilty for loving them. I have never felt this way about anyone. I will go a day sometimes even two without talking to them on the phone or texting and just when I think I may finally be able to move on They call me or text me and I am right back on the emotional rollercoaster again.

To be honest I don't trust myself to be alone with them. As much as I may want to fight it, i know I will give in to my extreme desire for them and take a journey to the point of no return. My only fear with that is connecting on that level will cause me to fall deeper and harder then I already have. I fear I may end up wanting more then what they are able to offer right now. So with that being said what do I do? Do I throw caution to the wind and what ever will be will be? or do I walk away broken hoping that one day my love for this person will fade like a sunset. So here I sit in emotional limbo......

Besos,
Sexii Mami

Just needed to Exhale

I've been a little concerned....well ALOT concern about a friend who is near and dear to my heart. My friend experienced two deaths within the last week and half. When my friend first told me my heart literally broke into tiny pieces. You see when you truely care deeply about someone, when they hurt, you hurt. They "say" their ok, I want to believe it but.....I don't know. You see my friend is a little on the macho side which is one of the qualities I love about them. I have done all I can do from where I sit and as their friend, although I would Love and wish I could do more. I guess all I can do is to continue to encourage, and love them unconditionally. I have decided to pull back an allow them their space to grieve, but its just sooo darn hard because this person has truely stolen my heart.


The fact that my friend has stolen my heart scares me more than I can even express. All I can do is hope and pray that they guard my heart and promise never to intentionally break it. I know I must sound like i'm rambling, and I guess thats because my thoughts are all over the place and I am just basically bloggling as sort of a sounding board. Am I crazy??


Sexii Mami

Nostalgic

nos·tal·gi·a (n,,-st,,l'j?, n?-) Pronunciation Key n. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past




I got into contact with someone I really care about, we dated about 9 years ago. Ever have that someone who you had a connection with so deep and on so many levels? Well that is the case here. When we spoke after so long It was almost like the last 9 years never existed. The connection is still their.It is soo wierd because when we speak my heart starts beating fast and I feel heat literally flow from the crown of my head to my feet. If i'm hungry suddenly my hunger gets replaced with such a rush of excitment sorta like when you meet someone you like for the first time. I can't begin to predict the furture, all I know is now that we have made contact I want him in my life forever in what ever capacity is ment to be.





Besos,

sexii Mami